We just wrapped up 2024 and have already crossed over to 2025, so it’s only fitting to reflect on the year that was and bring to remembrance the lessons we picked up along the way. I have 24 profound life lessons I learned in 2024, and in this post, I will share them. Some of them are fun and may make you cackle, some may make you take a pause and think. Whatever reaction any point elicits, just go with it.
Also, this will be my first ‘serious’ post I do on this blog. I can be serious at times you know hehe. I hope that this inspires you. Let’s get into it.
Before we do so, I’m also reminded of a similar post I did in my former blog, A Breath Of Fresh Air. It’s titled 22 Things I know for Sure. It’s quite an insightful read and the lessons I shared back then could still apply today. You could read this post then head on there, or read that post, then come back here.
Okay, NOW let’s get into it.
- If someone has decided that they do not like you, working harder to make them do causes more harm than good.
One of the most profound lessons I have learned in 2024 is I cannot control people’s thoughts and feelings towards me. When someone has decided they don’t like me, for whatever reason, me working harder to make them like me, will do me more harm than good. Respect yourself enough to walk away or distance yourself when you feel like you have to excessively prove your worth to someone who has actively chosen not to see it.
2. At the first red flag, don’t ignore it. This goes for both guys and girls.
I can only speak from a girlie’s perspective, but I have realized that the way someone approaches you the first time, most often repeats itself as the relationship progresses. The moment you notice a red flag, do yourself a favor by addressing it immediately or walking away.
3. Learn not to take things personally because it’s rarely ever about you.
As a sensitive person, it’s easy to read the room and perceive people’s feelings around you. The downside of this is that you may tend to think a subtle shift in mood, a certain glance your way, or a certain remark from someone may be a personal attack towards you when that could be the opposite. Truthfully, it’s rarely ever about you, that’s why it is important to learn the skill of not taking everything personally. It is so freeing once you learn this and it allows you to own who you are and take up space as you should. The next time you feel like someone took a personal jab at you, affirm this;
‘I will not take this personally because it’s not about me. If it is, they’ll let me know.’
4. Every Perfectionist reaches their breaking point, eventually.
I reached mine this year. The ‘breaking point’ is realizing that control is an illusion. If you grew up being the ‘good girl’ who followed every rule and ticked every box, at some point, it will all come crashing down and honestly, it may be the best thing that will ever happen to you. I am a witness. Control is an illusion and no matter how perfect we try to be, no matter how much we meticulously plan, life will often throw hurdles and curveballs and you’ll have to adjust accordingly to keep progressing. Plus, you’ll learn to be happy and content anyway despite life not being perfect. I watched a film called ‘Nappily Ever After‘ and read a book called, ‘Yinka, where is your huzband‘. In both the film and book, the main characters, both black women, let go of perfectionism and learn to embrace who they are. I could see myself through them and relate in so many ways.
- Be more concerned about how your life feels to you than about how it looks to others.
Society has pressured us to be more concerned about how our life looks to other people, more than how it actually feels to live it. It’s all about the job title you hold even though you hate your job, the house you live in even though you may be struggling to afford to maintain it, and being in a relationship just for the sake of being in one and not because it is healthy. We are slowly wasting away and dying inside pretending that we’re ‘living the life’. Remember that you only get one shot and once your time is over, that’s it. I hope you spend it living in a way that’s truthful and authentic to you.
6. Save that extra money, because you will need it.
Bills need to be paid and at times cash is tight. One of the ways you can avoid debt is by intentionally setting aside a portion, regardless of how small, of your income into your savings.
Allow me to tell you more about the Chumz App. This app is regulated by the Capital Markets Authority so it’s safe. It is connected to your Mpesa account, allowing you to deposit money directly. The great news is that your money won’t just sit there but will gain a small interest over time.
I appreciate the features of the app, particularly the 52-week savings challenge. The goal of this challenge is to save about Ksh.60,000 by the end of the year by making small deposits per week. The essence of the app is to cultivate the discipline of saving, which trust me, will save you many tears in the future.
I also love that it prompts me to save even a few coins. For example, if I have Ksh.600 in my account and I spend Ksh. 62. I will be left with Ksh.538. Chumz will send me a notification to save the Ksh.38 so that my M-PESA balance will be even. So, over time, with or without a prompt, I find myself saving a few coins to even out my balance. Over time, these tiny amounts accumulate to large amounts and it’s just so cool. Please try it.
7. Being aloof about your country’s issues isn’t cool. Stay informed. The political elites take advantage of your ignorance.
2024 will be a historic year for my generation, the GenZ. We decided to stand up to our government, exposing the injustices that have been going on for years and years and saying NO. True, the fight continues as there are protests still ongoing to this day, but during the heat of the protests, I learned that it is way too costly to be aloof from my country’s issues, the laws being passed, and the kind of leaders that are elected to office, because these things do affect me. To be honest, in the past, I was so aloof about politics, that I didn’t care much about it. However, this year I decided to take the initiative and learn. The elites take advantage of my ignorance and I decided they wouldn’t do that anymore. You should make that choice too. Stay informed.
8. Sometimes, let people do what they want to do, and they’ll show you what they’d rather do
Ever heard of the ‘let them’ theory? Well, there’s a book by Mel Robbins called Let Them. The concept is letting the people in your life be who they are and do what they want to do. Personally, I see both a positive and negative to this. The positive is that it frees you from holding so tightly to relationships and things that no longer work for you. Negative because it can be the beginning of a rude awakening because you’ll get to realize that perhaps some people didn’t care for you as you thought they would. At the end of the day, let them.
9. Hawaiian Pizza still reigns supreme
Do you see that pizza that has cheese, pineapple, and ham? I absolutely adore it and it’s the best pizza there is in my opinion.
10. Human beings are more complex and diverse than we think. Their decisions are influenced by more than what meets the eye
So do yourself a favor by relinquishing control over people’s actions, taking responsibility for things they choose to do themselves, and assuming that you know them as well as you may think they do. People often make choices for reasons way beyond our control.
11. Work on yourself more than you work on work
A word of advice to my career baddies. Even if you’re in your dream job, never stop upskilling and working on yourself. Show up for the job, but never stop showing up for yourself. Even if something happens to the job, you have your skills and knowledge with you and no one can take that away from you. So keep getting the additional qualifications, the short courses, and even therapy to become a better person. If you can spend eight hours of your day fulfilling someone else’s dream. Surely you can spare one hour for you and your dreams.
12. Skills, what you can do and the problems you can solve will speak for you more in the workplace than your qualifications.
Your papers are what will get you through the first door, but what will keep you there is your skills, the ideas you contribute, and most importantly, the problems you’ll solve. That’s why you should keep working on yourself, even more than you work on the work.
13. If you struggle to articulate your feelings in speech, write it down and read it out.
I was in therapy/life coaching briefly this year, because your girl was going through it hehe. One thing that my coach at the time taught me was that since I am not the most vocal person and sometimes struggle to articulate my feelings verbally, I can harness my gift of writing down what I feel and reading it out loud. I cannot express how freeing this has been for me. So, for my quiet guys and girlies, when the noise in your head gets overwhelming and it’s hard to put in words how you’re feeling, write it down and read it loud.
14. You don’t have to beg/work/struggle for love. Work on yourself to believe you’re worthy of healthy love.
I’m glad that more and more women (I included) have refused to conform to the idea that they have to go through the most to get the love they have always wanted. I am glad that we no longer agree with the notion that ‘mwanamke ni kuvumilia’ Why? Because such notions among others rid the other party of accountability to make the relationship work. Work on your mindset to believe that you are worthy to be loved correctly and be brave enough to walk away from anything less than that.
15. Pay attention to the things that you are naturally interested in, without anyone intervening.
That may be your soul speaking. That may be an indicator of what you were brought on earth to do. For example, I love to write and all things self-care and personal development. What better way than to package it into a blog like this? Keep in mind that NO ONE told me to start blogging. Just allowing the Lord to guide me and my natural interest and we’re here. You could try it as well. What is that thing that you enjoy doing, or even get lost in doing that you’d do anyway without anyone intervening? Explore it and see where it may take you.
16. Think about the things you loved as a child and incorporate more in your adult life.
As an adult, your inner child still exists within you as you often carry the memories and experiences you had as a child, which affects how you live your life as an adult. As a child, your mind and heart were pure and innocent before it was tainted by the harshness of the world. One way to heal and reconnect with your inner child is to try recall the things you did as a child and do them now. For example, I always loved to express my creativity through painting. So, I recently bought a drawing book, a simple paint palette, and a few paintbrushes. In my own time, I paint and it’s super therapeutic.
17. Your intuition is right. That person, place, or thing felt ‘weird’ for a reason.
May 2024 be the LAST year that you and I ever doubt our intuition. Every single time I chose to ignore my intuition sending me danger signals about a person or place, I always regretted it. So, anytime you encounter something or someone, and you get a certain feeling that something ain’t right, it isn’t.
18. I honestly love the beach. It’s beautiful. It feels like home to me.
Like, I think this pic is giving Moana. The sea is calling and I’m answering.
19. Always stand on business when it comes to your standards, principles, and values. If someone is meant to stay, they will. If they leave, let them go.
If you value authenticity and showing up fully as yourself in relationships, then it’s important to know and be honest about what your standards, principles, and values are, and communicate them. If you lost someone by choosing to do the right thing, then they weren’t the right person for you.
20. Not every loss is a loss, especially if losing it means you get your peace of mind back.
Anything that robs you of your peace of mind is too expensive. Therefore, losing it isn’t a loss per se because what you get, your peace of mind, is worth so much more.
21. Cry. It’s a gift to release the things burdening our hearts through the expression of this emotion
Did you know crying is healthy? When we’re distressed, in pain, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed, our nervous system is dysregulated. To regulate it, a release is needed, and that release can come through crying. It’s okay to cry. Release your sorrows.
22. Healthy relationships may bring out the worst in you
But, they create a safe environment for you to go through the process or do the necessary work needed to be a better person. It’s such an interesting phenomenon that our worst sides can emerge in healthy relationships. Perhaps we need to learn to be better communicators, gain better conflict-resolution skills, and confront our childhood trauma. Lean in on the relationships with people who challenge you to be better. It may be uncomfortable but it’s for your good and those are the real ones.
23. Choosing to live a fulfilling life will come at the cost of non-conformance to societal ideas of success.
A realization that I came into this year is that society thrives on us conforming to already-set and most often oppressive systems that lead us to be dysregulated, stressed, unhealthy, and always chasing a goalpost that keeps moving further and further away.
Fulfillment, balance, and overall health and wellness are not encouraged as much.
Can you imagine getting to secure your dream internship, in one of the best companies in the country but a couple of months into your role realizing that it isn’t what you thought it was, then choosing to leave it for something more simple and sustainable but not as glamorous, but is in alignment with your current career goals and lifetime dreams?
Well, that has been me this year.
I felt as though I was living a long-sought dream, but it almost finished me. I chose not to conform and it came at a cost. A high one. However, I regret nothing.
Peace of mind and fulfillment are much better than conforming to other people’s or society’s ideas of success. It’s better to endure the questions, the loneliness that comes with choosing yourself, the unsolicited advice, and unwarranted opinions than just living on autopilot for decades and then realizing how much you missed out on at the end of your journey. May this point speak deeply to the person it’s meant for.
24. God hears our prayers. He may not answer immediately, but He surely will, suddenly.
I can’t end this without acknowledging The One who makes all things possible. Truly, God answers our prayers. He is faithful. He may not answer them immediately or at the time we want, but once He does, He will do it suddenly. Keep praying and trusting. God is the Only One who sticks around when humans abandon us, when our plans don’t work, through failure, tragedy, and life’s ebbs and flows.
Okay, people, that’s it. Buh-Bye 2024!
All the best to us for 2025! Happy Happy Happy New Year!
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