Perhaps it’s because I’ve turned twenty-five, and my frontal lobe is fully developed, but lately, I’ve been putting my critical thinking cap on more often and questioning some of the societal norms locked in my subconscious ever since I was a little girl.
As we commemorate International Women’s Day this year, I thought of the ‘strong woman’ notion, more so the ‘strong black woman’ notion.
In the past, I took being called strong as a compliment. But, this year, I surprisingly felt a resistance within. Instead of shutting it down, I allowed myself to explore where it was all coming from.
I realized society will label you as a strong woman, based on how much you can endure, even if it’s at the cost of your values, freedom, safety, and even physical health. You’ll keep being oppressed by the same society that calls you ‘strong’.
But, is it right to measure a woman’s level of strength by how much she can endure being oppressed?
Why do we punish the women who choose not to conform to the norm?
This women’s day, and for the days to come. I don’t want to be a strong woman.
This is the woman I want to be;
I want to be a bold woman. Bold enough to ask questions, to disagree, to hold my own, and actually have an opinion that I’m not afraid to express.
I want to be a virtuous woman. If I don’t have God as my anchor, I will conform and agree with what society says and keep the cycle of oppression going.
I want to be a soft woman. I have boundaries, I understand my capacity, and sit back when I need a break to recharge. Taking care of my physical health and self-care is a priority for me. (P.S That’s why I keep sharing with you self-care tips and amazing products to try on this platform. 
)
I want to be a happy woman. I dare to prioritize and do the things that make me happy. If I am happy, the people around me are likely to be happy too.
I want to be a peaceful woman. I am allergic to anything or anyone that deliberately wants to bring chaos into my space. Protecting my peace is essential to me.
I want to be a healed woman. I recognize my trauma. It wasn’t my fault, I did not deserve it. However, I have a responsibility to heal from it and create a better legacy for those coming after me. Plus who wouldn’t want a regulated nervous system?!
I want to be a self-aware woman. I not only know but fully accept and love who I am. I can recognize when an opinion isn’t aligned with who I am, and reject it.
I’m strong already, I don’t have to prove myself on this anymore.
All my life, just like many girls all over the world, I’ve always been fed ideas of what I should look like, what I should wear, and who I should be, and judged harshly when I chose not to conform, even when it wasn’t my fault.
Coming to a place like this, of not caring anymore and standing on business about it is a show of strength, right?
There’s nothing more to prove.
so, no. I am not a strong woman, and I don’t want to be one.
I wasn’t planning on writing this post. But today after church and shopping, I had a strong unction to share my thoughts. 😅
I especially want to hear from the ladies. Does the term ‘strong woman’ empower you, or do you feel icky inside about it like me?
Forget strong, what is one word you’d like the people around you to describe you as?
Feel free to share in the comments.
With all that said,
Happy International Women’s Day ladies! 💜
Let’s be bold, healthy, wholesome, healed, at peace, and happy! 🙂
Till next post,
Miss Kambe.
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